Peace Not of this World

 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27 (NIV)

Many years back when I was a counselor at White Mountain Ranch ( Happy T),  one of my least favorite things was trying to plan for nightly devotions with my girls.  One of reliable devos I manage to whip up was from a family favorite story.

We would read the story of Mrs. Large trying to escape from her 3 children for 5 minutes peace and quiet. Yet everywhere she escaped her children would find and and express how much they loved her and would "ruin the peace". My cabin girls from Esther's Palace and I would then discuss John 14:27, We talked about how the Lord promised us peace, but it wasn't the way this world thinks of peace. Those girls often spoke more truth in the evenings then some pastors.  God promised us love and that He would never leave us. He never promised that life wasn't going to be hard. He promised us eternal life with Him if we accepted his gift, but he never said life was going to be a walk in the park.

This morning I had the luck of the draw for Grandad duty. I stayed home from church, but was intentional of listening to Worship Music and reading through the scriptures. 

I came across a song today that hit my heart at home and made me think back to nights at camp.

Thou will keep me in perfect peace
When my mind is stayed on You
Thou will keep me in perfect peace
When my mind is stayed on You

Peace flowing like a river
Peace never to be stolen
Peace that You give is not of this world
My mind is stayed on You

Your peace flowing like a river
Peace never to be stolen
Peace that You give is not of this world
My mind is stayed on You

And Thou will keep me in perfect peace
When my mind is stayed on You
'Cause peace that You give is not of this world
My mind is stayed on You


This song really hit home hard. We have just come off on the tails of a horrible summer.  

Getting the boot from my apartment of 8 year

Moving in with my grandparents

Putting our adoption process on hold

Realizing 24 care was needed for Grinny

Having on 3 rain days during the summer ( aquatic's directors worst night mare)

Working close to 70 hour work weeks with almost no time off

Buying a house from a relative 

Finding out last week the house needs a new roof no one told us about

Being notified that the tenants we thought were staying decided to move out immediately. 

And basically feeling disconnected from everything and everyone. 

Well on August 31st, my Grandmother was taken to the hospital for surgery. At the moment we are not sure when she will be home from rehab. It could be as long as December. We finally put to rest all of our pools for the summer. Both Dan and I exhaled and and were so thankful we survived this horrid summer. It was over. We could finally breath and look forward to a time of reconnecting and the hope of what the future might bring.

This past Tuesday we were given a horrid blow.

I am not going into too many details as I personally am trying to manage my anger in the situation.

In short, my husband was wrongfully asked to resign from his job.

The bottom line was that he grew his department so big , that they felt they needed to hire someone from a higher caliber of skill sets. They admitted their supervisory skill sets, were not equipped to handle managing that large of a department without bringing in a specialist. 

As you can imagine I WAS LIVID. I was/am absolutely furious in the injustice of it all. 

There were moments I wept in the fear of the unknown

Moments that  took everything in me to not give them a piece of my mind.

Moments I went into full mama bear mode in wanting to protect my husband from even questioning

 that any of this was his fault. 

Moments of horror when I realized... we now have a mortgage!

And Thou will keep me in perfect peace
When my mind is stayed on You
'Cause peace that You give is not of this world
My mind is stayed on You

(sigh)

Sometimes you need to look in the past to be reminded where you have come.

God has always been faithful.

I repeat. God has always been faithful.

Back in 2003 pretty much the exact same thing happened to my Father. 

My father had brought the Gordon College Lacrosse Team to the best the team has ever been.

Yet with some shady behind the scenes characters, he was asked to resign. 

I remember I was a Sophomore in College. I was also LIVID. All the same emotions came out then too. Though my Dad's reputation was on the line, He trusted the Lord. 

The Lord used his Testimony over the past 10 years in more ways then any of us could imagine.

God also took my father's humbleness in it all and blessed him.

He gave my father Peace. 

He didn't give my father Millions of dollars and new motorcycle.

Nope God Stretched my father, but gave him PEACE that He and He Alone was in charge.

I look back to when God had is hands on Dan and I a year after we got married when Dan's job was eliminated. Once again I was mad... ( I see a cycle here...) and Dan trusted the Lord and in 2 weeks he had a better job! 

So. My mission right now to trust on my Lord.

When He is on my mind, I am in Peace that He is in control.

When I am distracted by the details that our adoption is on hold for another year...

I let my emotions get away with themselves.  When I start to hyper-focus on fear of the unknown... the peace leaves. It leaves because I am not focused on HIM.

So do me a favor. When I take my focus off on Him, subtly remind me to stop fretting.....